BITS & PIECES III

Therefore I realize the truth:
I disavow and mourn all I have said
and repent in dust and ash.

Job 42:6

Fear

Within seconds, Coyote Starrk transported back to the confines of Aizen's throne room. Orihime struggled for several moments before adjusting to her circumstances.

"Why are you doing this?" she squealed.

Starrk responded in silence. Aizen, Gin, Tousen, and a few other Espada were scattered about the room. Her eyes grew in terror as she realized Aizen was gazing straight at her.

Oh, no! He's going to kill me!

"Orihime," Aizen began, "what's wrong? That's a rather pained face you're making."

He flashed over to her, gently brushing his cold hands across her lips in one swift move. His face was dangerously close to her mouth. She felt his repulsive breath crawling across her skin as he spoke.

"You should smile more," he chided.

What is he doing?! I've never felt so violated in my life! She could not concentrate on his words, as she was too distracted by the way he was making her skin prickle. Behind him, the portal to another dimension opened itself up to blue skies and skyscrapers. It had been too long since Orihime had laid eyes on her home town. Her eyes darted hungrily behind his shoulder. How she longed to return to her former life, to escape from this hell. It was certain death for her now. What further proof could Aizen have of her disloyalty? Distracted by her thoughts, she finally noticed him enough to hear his final words to her.

"…until we get back from destroying Karakura Town."

"Destroy Karakura Town?" she squeaked.

"That's right," he said as though it was the most natural thing in the world. There was a hint vengeance in his voice, too, as if he had planned this all along specifically to punish her for his own amusement.

Starrk brushed past her and headed towards Aizen. Orihime finally noticed Lilynette in the corner of her eye, realizing that she had been standing there the entire time. Orihime could not make out the look in Lilynette's face. It was a cross between confusion and hurt. Another sharp stab of guilt made its way even deeper into Orihime's heart. She squinted her eyes slightly in an attempt to apologize to her, but Lilynette darted her eyes away from Orihime, following Starrk towards Aizen. It occurred to Orihime that the two of them were probably headed to fight the Soul Society captains in the human world…this might be the last time she would ever see either of them. She could feel tears welling up behind her eyelids as she opened her mouth to say goodbye, but she was again interrupted by Aizen. He was talking aloud, appearing to address someone other than himself. He explained something startling:

"I am leaving Orihime Inoue in the fifth tower. If you wish to retrieve her, you may come and make your attempt. I no longer have any use for her."

Orihime felt her heart stop. She stared hard at Aizen as he spoke.

"Her ability is truly a powerful one," Aizen continued, a self-satisfied smirk curling on his lips. "'Phenomenon Rejection,' an ability far exceeding the capacities permitted to humans. The upper echelons of Soul Society understood the significance of her ability, and that is why I kidnapped her, in order to unsettle Soul Society and turn their attention to reinforcing their own defenses rather than those of the human world."

Orihime felt sick. She had always known that she was being used by Aizen…but to discover that she was being used by Aizen in such a dark and twisted manner shattered her entire understanding of herself. It was not just her spirit-friends like Ichigo and Ishida and Chad who were in danger — she had put even her human friends at risk — no, now even the entire destruction of Karakura Town was because of her disloyalty!

Aizen went on to explain his horrifying plan of having kidnapped Orihime to bait Ichigo and her friends into Soul Society. I can't believe this! Was Aizen never meaning to use the Hogyoku on me, after all? All of that time I spent in training!

"…She was the perfect bait to lure these forces into Hueco Mundo," Aizen continued.

Orihime spotted the Captain Commander in the distance as Aizen inched towards the dimension slit. He called Tia Harribel, Coyote Starrk, and Barragan forward — the top three Espada.

This is real!

Aizen's back was turned before Orihime heard the words that would make her heart pound with suspense.

"Before that, I leave Las Noches to you for a while, Ulquiorra."

In moments, a familiar hand ripped through the void in front of Aizen's royal chaise, and Orihime spun her head towards the emerging figure.

"Yes, sir."

.oOo.

Ulquiorra wasted no time in throwing Orihime one of his admonishing glances. His eyes were almost as intense as when he had confronted her earlier.

The dimension revealing Karakura Town closed soon afterwards, but Orihime had hardly any time to realize what this meant as Ulquiorra was steadily making his way towards her. Several sentiments gripped Orihime at the moment as she stared at the Espada walking towards her — fury, confusion, relief, and she could not decide which outweighed the other until he spoke.

He asked her a single question. "Are you afraid?"

Orihime had spent enough time with the Espada to know that though he was clever at getting answers from her without giving away any information about himself, on some occasions, he failed miserably at this. This was one of those times. His question was blatantly incomplete. What he was really asking her was, Are you afraid of me?

Orihime's face softened, prompting Ulquiorra to go on talking. He attempted explaining to her that she was out of everyone's reach—that she was inevitably going to die in Hueco Mundo, alone. But what she critically discerned from his monologue of intimidation is that he did not assert that he would be the one to kill her. This multiplied her suspicions about his true feelings towards her.

He asked his question once more, but the incompleteness in the question remained. He still bore the weight of needing to protect himself, and it made Orihime understand in her heart of hearts that this man would not hurt her. If he felt the need to mask such a simple question, then he wasn't the unshakeable stoic he portrayed himself as after all.

"Are you afraid?"

The answer was simple after that.

"I'm not."

Ulquiorra's eyes narrowed a little.

"My friends all came for me. My heart, my spirit, will always be where my friends are." She spoke serenely, looked into his eyes, and desperately tried to communicate to him that if he so chose, he could be one of those people.

"Ridiculous," was his response, throwing a crushing answer to what her heart was offering him. "You feel no fear because your nakama are here? Don't tell me you actually mean that?"

Ulquiorra was deliberately leading the conversation away from what Orihime was starving for it to be. She answered his question truthfully.

"Yes, I do. When I first heard that they had all come here to save me, I was a little happy. But I was incredibly sad as well." The color on her cheeks turned a familiar rose as she recounted their interlude out in the desert the previous day. "I only came here to protect all of them. Why did they have to come after me?" She shifted her eyes to the ground. "Why couldn't they understand? That's what I thought."

She went on to explain how horrible she felt each time she sensed the collapse of each of her friends, and then continued, "I realized that if any one of them were to suddenly disappear like I did, I'm sure I would also do the same thing. It might not be possible to feel exactly the same as another person..." She paused. She wanted to make sure Ulquiorra was looking into her eyes when she continued. "But it's possible for people to care about one another, and to place their hearts as close together as they can manage. I'm sure that's what it means to make your hearts 'as one'."

Orihime felt Ichigo's familiar, warm reiatsu drawing near.

Ulquiorra's tone shifted. "Hearts, you say?" he replied cynically.

He had that look in his eye — the one that said that he was about to make some glorious point that would destroy the logic of whatever she had just said.

"You humans are always so quick to speak of such things, as though you physically carry the hearts in the palms of your hands. But this eye of mine perceives all. There is nothing it overlooks."

Their conversation turned nostalgic. Orihime thought back to the marvel she had witnessed when he shattered his eye in front of her.

"If this eye cannot see a thing, then it does not exist; I have always operated under that assumption."

His eyes turned dark as he spoke his next words. "What is a heart?"

Slowly, deliberately, his steady hand rose up inches away from her chest. She recognized this move. This is the position he took when firing his mighty cero. His next words were the most violent she had ever heard him speak.

"If I tear open that chest of yours, will I see it there?"

The anger that had momentarily subsided in Orihime sprouted once more. Why are you being like this?

"If I smash that skull of yours, will I see it there?"

.

Much more quickly than either of them had expected, Ichigo came crashing into the wall.

Ulquiorra threw a raging look at Ichigo as the dust settled.

Interrupting, shinigami?

"Get away from Inoue," Ichigo commanded.

"I plan to," an insulted Ulquiorra shot back, not knowing why he felt so irritated at the shinigami's implication. "My duty is to protect Las Noches until Aizen-sama returns. I haven't received any orders to kill the girl," he added, his tone defensive.

A soft, barely audible gasp escaped Orihime's lips.

Ulquiorra heard it, heard what his words had just foolishly implied, and clumsily corrected himself. "This girl will live until I receive that order." Noting Orihime's questioning eyes, he quickly continued, "But you're another story. Killing you is equivalent to protecting Las Noches."

There was a pause before he announced his threat. "I will erase you with my sword."

Ulquiorra had long recognized Ichigo as a hindrance to Aizen's plans and had already taken the steps to destroy Ichigo earlier. Acknowledging the sloppiness of his previous attempt, he resolved to pull out all the stops and finish the job he had started.

.

Chaos ensued inside Orihime's head and in front of her eyes as two people she deeply cared about engaged in a daring battle. Swords flew, steel clanked, blood dripped, concrete crumbled, and cloth wisped in the wind as each man grew more determined to emerge the victor.

Unsure of how to act, Orihime did not want to discourage either of them by rooting for the other. So she stayed silent, terror at losing a loved one growing with every breath.

.

Ulquiorra reluctantly observed that the shinigami had gotten much stronger since his last encounter. No doubt the world filled with spirit particles played a role in quickening his evolution. His fight with Grimmjow was a likely catalyst for improvement. Or perhaps it is because of the woman? He wondered this aloud.

"That woman is already one of us," Ulquiorra proclaimed. "That won't change, no matter how hard you try."

Orihime's face grew red with shame as Ulquiorra glanced in her direction.

Proceeding with determination, Ulquiorra unknowingly braced himself for the final battle of his life.

The Ash

It took but one look, as always. The familiar subtlety was there, pulling at her. How could she refuse? Her heart easily forgave him when she recognized the understanding in his eyes. Yes, even a touch of remorse belied his impersonal exterior, and she yearned to tell him she understood while there was yet time. And with that one look, she was bewildered to witness something much deeper than she could ever have hoped for. She finally understood! His behavior, his cruelty, his drive. Everything — but his wrath most of all. The final piece in this complex puzzle was now hers to comprehend. How could I not have seen this? But at least she saw it now. At least she could respond. Deeply grateful for the subtle language they had developed, she knew she could tell him all he needed to know by gazing into his eyes.

But what was this? He wanted more than just her eyes. He reached out his hand. Orihime could not believe what he was doing. Why now, she thought, her heart breaking. You had so long, so much time! She could feel the tears burning behind her eyelids. How many tears had she already cried for this man?

"Are you afraid?" was all he said.

His question cut her; it was an irony that only she could understand. She pitied the hollow — and herself. His demise had come too soon; she was ill-prepared, she panicked! But his expression was as calm as hers was restless, and this put her at ease.

"No, I'm not," her voice finally chimed.

.

Ulquiorra thought back to his first true exposure to the sentiments of this mesmerizing woman. He reflected bitterly on the libélula's death. But all that mattered now was the gratification of his last, insatiable desire. It was irrational, but he wanted it. Had he finally understood what she meant by the heart? The final enigma in comprehending her? His motivations indicated that this was true. With the same hand that had crushed her reiatsu into his body, he reached out to indulge himself in his bittersweet novelty one last time. But would she respond to him?

Yes.

Even now, she brought something out of him he never thought possible. It had been evident inside of him since that nuisance of a death god had accused him of becoming more human. But it didn't matter now. Her heart was reaching out to him, and her eyes affirmed the thing he craved most.

As his hand dissipated into ash at the seizing of her hand, their eyes locked, marking the final steps of their secret promenade.